Trying to remove information from the Internet is like trying to remove pee from a swimming pool.

Dear God,

I keep hearing about how wonderfully you designed us. We're so awesome. Look at how perfectly we can walk on two legs. Look at how well we can see with our complex eyes. Apparently it's really obvious a very smart creator like yourself designed us all. It's just too complex to have all come about by itself!

If that's true, then thanks, I appreciate it. It's really cool how you made us so we're not getting our hands dirty all the time by running around on all fours. Our backs sure would hurt, too! Also, thanks for the nose. Seriously, without the nose, how could we ever fit glasses on there?

As an engineer, I often wonder about your design considerations. To put it frankly God, the human body is just as much a mess as it is a wonder, so I just wanted to go over a few improvements on human design you could possibly implement and bring more praise to your great name (whatever it is).

1. Get rid of the appendix.  I don't know if you just happened to have 6,000,000,000 appendixes lying around when you created us and needed a place to put them or what, but seriously, they've got to go.  They don't do any good at all, really.  Plus, most of the time they get infected and explode.  It took us thousands of years to figure out how to remove them ourselves, and will probably take several thousand more for us to figure out why you put them there in the first place.
2. Lose the body hair.  Sure, hair is awesome, on our heads.  Anywhere else it's just kinda gross.  It's just enough to make us look incredibly ugly, but not enough to keep us warm.  Now I realize that you probably gave it to us knowing that the 70's would come around, but we're past that now, so you can go ahead and just take it back now.  Thanks.
   
3. Make it so we breathe and eat from separate tubes.  Seriously, bad form sir.  It's really easy to choke to death the way it is.  How great of a design is it when you can kill someone by telling a joke while they're eating?  You got the right idea with whales, so I think the glory of your creation, made in your own image deserves at least that bit of good design.
4. Make it so we can see invisible things that kill us.  Why the hell can we only see a tiny portion of the light spectrum?  You do realize that UV rays can kill us right?  It'd just be really helpful if we could see things like UV rays and Radon gas so we could just avoid them instead of having to guess or invent a biopsy.
5. Give us gills.  We can't live on over 75% of this wonderful planet you gave us.  By giving us gills we can conquer the rest of the planet that was so obviously made for us to conquer.  Plus, no one would ever drown again.
6. Add wings.  While we're conquering the sea, why not the air, too?  There's no reason we shouldn't be able to fly.  No more falling to our death off of cliffs.  Plus, it'd be awesome and it'd make us really unique.  We'd be the only creature that can live on land, sea, and fly.
7. Bigger penises.  A lot of us guys feel insecure about the size of their willies.  One instant solution would be to give every man the same size (huge) penis.  This would almost eliminate guys buying huge SUVs and trucks that ruin the planet.  If everyone is the same size, there would be no need to feel insecure.
   

I have a lot more suggestions, but I think if you just implement these, we'd at least be making some progress.

B